Monday, May 6, 2013

What a Miracle She Is

We met with the heart surgeon today. The more I find out about her little ole heart, the more I just feel she's a complete miracle. I know all children are a blessing from the Lord. She's just a little rejuvenation into my life though, and I just adore her. I have spent too many years striving for the next thing....paycheck, house, fun, kids, more kids, stuff, cars, boats, degrees, you name it, it's on the list somewhere. When Kaden was born he slowed me down and made me relax. (For only a  year, then he turned into a toddler!) 

Then, life got busy again and striving for the next thing became more intense. I don't know if this touches home with you or not, but life isn't all that fun when you're striving for the next thing, even if it's just to get the daily to-do list done.  I'm always in the mode to get the next task done. Our church counselor even helped me to finally see that. I didn't realize I was always in that state. I've always known that I've needed to enjoy the here and now, and I have never wanted to regret these years with my children because I know I won't get them back. I know God wants the best for us and I also know that He chooses to bless us, that he enjoys blessing us in this life. Lulu is a blessing. I feel settled. I feel joy. I have always had a happy life overall, and all of my children are blessings to me, and my husband is great. Sometimes though something felt like it was missing. TRUE JOY. I'm living with joy now, and a new kind of love I've never known on this earth. My other girls were older when I became their mamma. We love each other, but we missed out on a lot of things. My mother was too sick and I was too young to remember her affection. I am just completely humbled God would think so much of me to bless me like this. You know, He wants to bless us all in some way we need and sometimes don't even know we need it. All it takes is saying "yes" to him. That can be hard and scary, but the other side of your "yes" just may be pure bliss!

Jeremiah 31:13 tells us He will give us joy.

(Now don't get me wrong, I've felt content before, and I know that we are to be content with our life and find joy in the Lord. I've been there, and have learned those things the last several years, and God has blessed us greatly because of our finally submitting and saying "whatever you want Lord, we give it all to you". I guess I'm talking about a different kind of joy. I believe it's a joy that maybe many mothers feel, and I'm sure I've felt it before, but maybe it had been a long time. And, I'm talking about a joy that I personally have been missing because I grew up without my mother.)

Lulu's heart surgery will be June 15th. We will be in the hospital for 1-2 weeks as long as she adjusts well to the new pressures and oxygenated blood that will now go to places in her body she has never had it. With how great her circulation is now though, he feels she will do really well and her body will handle everything well. She will need to be on a restricted activity level for about 6 weeks. I told Ty I sure need a swing set in the back yard so I can push her on the swing and she won't have to exert any energy at all! She LOVES to swing! Plus it'll give Kaden and possibly the big kids something to do since we will not be able to swim as much this summer as usual.

Here are some recent pictures!

When she woke up from having her heart cath and needed to eat, we found out she liked Jello! 
It's not something she'll eat regularly though.

First ice cream cone since she would never try one before now. She liked it, but couldn't eat it fast enough. It was melting, but at least she tried it and seemed to like it! We then had to teach her that she could eat the cone! She did not like that part and Kaden ate it for her!

I mean, have you ever seen a kid have such a face eating an ice cream cone?  I've never had to make a kid try ice cream before! She's a cookie girl! LOVES COOKIES!

Loves being in the kitchen, and in fact is my little shadow while cooking dinner each night! I had to find her something to do while I was preparing meals, so I made her a bean container she can play in all she wants! She loves it! Why do we buy all of these toys and even kitchen toys????? It's the simple things they love!

I heard she "ruled the roost" at Maria's Big House of Hope. Yeah, I'll say she tries that around here. I'm sure she'll have her nurses wrapped around her finger! She already does when we visit them at her appointments!

God is so GOOD. My heart is full of joy and has found a place to settle.


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